Friday, October 3, 2008
Militant Atheists are trying to steal my chi.
I've had the feeling for a while that people were trying to steal things from me. Friends said it was just because I got sh!t-faced and lost stuff, but I have recently discovered the truth. Jesus came to me in a dream, and told me that hate-mongering heathens were indeed stealing things from me. If they could get enough of my personal possessions for a specific type of ritual, my Chi, life-force, soul; whatever you want to call it, would be theirs. When I woke, the sticky traces of Jesus's visitation were all over my blankets and stomache. I have been on my guard ever since then. I've been reading some of the "scientific" propaganda that they publish to fool the masses, and I think the soul stealing process has something to do with collapsing my quantum waveform into the 17th dimension. My next communiqué to the faithful will come soon. Slack out.
Posted by SLACK at 8:52 AM No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)